Presence
PRESENCE – is the poise and confidence that is the natural result of the other Practices. It’s being comfortable in your own skin and not trying to be someone else. It comes from knowing that you’re doing the right things and you’re prepared. It includes a firm handshake, combed hair, speaking clearly, good posture, arriving early, making conversation, and sending ‘thank you’ notes. It’s also being respected by others. Presence is the total package.
How do we coach it? First, learn all the components that create your Presence. Then provide candid feedback on opportunities for improvement and provide specific instruction. The truth may be uncomfortable, but if their coach doesn’t tell them, who will?
Session #7 PRESENCE 10/6/24 - 11/16/24
Pre-Session Preparation
Read the following information regarding Presence and be prepared to share your answers to the questions listed in the Discussions Questions section of the Agenda (approx. 30 min)
The Components of Presence
There are many things that go into your presence. Some are on the outside and some are on the inside. Some are judged immediately, others are observed over time. They all can be practiced and developed.
Your Appearance - These generally result in ‘first impressions’ that are made within seconds of meeting someone. Watch the Things that Ruin a First Impression Immediately and take note of things you do well and need improvement | Bright Side (10:08 mins)
Body Language - This non-verbal communication usually happens subconsciously and consequently can reveal what’s in you mind - positive and negative. It’s expressed with facial expressions, posture, eye movements, breathing and of course, handshakes! In case you’re not convinced body language matters, check out this press conference excerpt of Gino Auriemma, one of the most accomplished coaches in history | Gino Auriemma (2:38 mins)
What you say and how you say it - Does your language reflect who you are? Do your words build people up or tear them down? Like a small rudder can change the direction of a large ship, your tongue can change the course of your and other’s lives. How you talk - your vocabulary, tone, clarity, volume - equally impacts your presence.
How you build relationships - Building rapport is about respecting people and assuming they could potentially be a friend. Finding a common interest with others and being authentic is a good way to put others at ease. (Recall Celeste Headlee’s tips on how to have a good conversation from your ‘People’ Session)
Having commitment to your values - Standing tall in your values and things that are important to to you - even if someone does not agree - creates a strong and special presence. It does not mean to try to force your values on others or be disrespectful to their different values. (See #10)
Your passion for things - You naturally create an energy when you are passionate. People can feel that energy and they’re inspired by it.
Your production - You can have all the potential in the world, but if you don’t get things done and don’t produce results, you will not shine. The more you try, the more you’ll experience, and the more you’ll produce.
How you work and practice - People admire those who consistently practice and work hard. Perseverance leads to success and it also favorably adds to your Presence!
Being present - People can tell when you're mentally present and when you’re “somewhere else.” It requires extraordinary mental strength but working at it will not only improve your presence, it’ll also improve your performance. Try to “be where your feet are.”
Respect of others - Treating people with respect should be consistent and indifferent to status. The Golden Rule (treating others as you want to be treated) should be the same for the person serving your food as it is to the CEO.
Inspire and encourage others - A mentality and desire to help others be better expands your capacity, impact and production. Its leadership at its core and it generates an exponential energy that spreads to others.
Be you! - Of all the components above, this is the most important. If you continually practice the 5Ps you will be “comfortable in your own skin” and have a poise and confidence that yields a great presence.
Does Improving your Presence Mean You’re an Imposter?
Harvard professor and author of the book Presence explains why developing your presence skills does not mean you’re a fake. Listen to her personal story in the excerpt from her presentation that’s been watched over 50 million times | Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are | Amy Cuddy (fast forward to 15:00 min mark of 20:48 min video)
The Impact of Presence
Handshake America’s mission is to provide you the mental framework to help you become successful in all aspects of life. Practicing and improving your Presence - and the other four Practices - will certainly help you personally. However, our vision is to influence others too!
Handshake America has a Vision of a national community of Five Practice Leaders (i.e. 5P Leaders) that are influencing culture and uniting the people around them.
Let’s break that down:
“national” - obviously means to grow throughout the United States. There have been hundreds of people involved in the HA Program since it was founded in 2011. These students, coaches, and volunteers have already spread out to 64 different schools, 15 states and are employed in a wide variety of organizations.
“community” - a feeling of fellowship with others as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals.
“Five Practice Leaders” - people who embrace Handshake America’s mental framework for success and regularly demonstrate the effort to improve their Perseverance, Passion, Positivity, People and Presence.
“influencing culture” - having an effect on the attitudes and behaviors of a particular group. Cultures are in teams, organizations, friend groups, families, neighborhoods, societies, and countries.
“uniting the people around them” - having a common attitude, behavior, goals, or values can bring people together. It’s like a shared pair of glasses through which we see the future. Our presence can shape it as we’d love it to be.
PRESENCE Session
Click here for one-page printable version
*Coaches: See ‘Coaches Room’ for specific guidance and tips for meeting
Purpose of the Session: Understanding the meaning of PRESENCE and the impact it has on success.
AGENDA (~1 hour)
I. Check-in (each individual) (~10 minutes)
Introduce yourself: State your Name, School/Company, Sport.
State your mindset coming into the meeting (share something about your day, or recent happenings in your life).
Prepare to be in this moment, engaging and listening to others.
II. Discussion Questions (~30 minutes)
The Components of Presence
How many of the Things that Ruin A First Impression Immediately do you think you do
well and how many do you need to work on? Compare your list to your Coaches assessment
of the first time he/she met you.Were there any Components that you were surprised to see on the list? Why?
Which of the Presence Components are your best? Which ones will be the most difficult to
work on and achieve?
Does Improving your Presence Mean You’re an Imposter?
Which of the 5Ps did you hear in her story?
When have you felt like you were “faking it”? What were you working to become?
The Impact of Presence
What do you believe the people involved in HA have in common?
Why would living the 5Ps make you a ‘leader’?
Thinking of the teams or groups you’ve been a part of, have you or someone else had an
influence on the culture? How was it done? What impact did it make - good or bad?
Can you imagine an example of how your presence could positively influence someone?
III. Student Homework (ongoing)
Congratulations on becoming a Certified 5 Practice Leader! Be sure to include this in your LinkedIn profile under Licenses & Certifications - have questions on how to do this? Reach out to handshake@handshakeamerica.org
Be on the lookout for your exclusive access to our Handshake America Alumni Locker Room
Update us with your personal email address (not your high school-issued email) so we can stay in touch about news & upcoming events (can provide to Coach or Jared Weston)
IV. Check-out (~10 minutes)
What’s your biggest takeaway from this PRESENCE session and why?
Take a quick video (landscape mode preferred) of your team introducing themselves (full name, school, & biggest takeaway from the program).
Record a separate team video saying ‘Thank You!’ to our donors and volunteers
Email (handshake@handshakeamerica.org) or text your videos to Jared Weston (614-980-3128), within 24 hours of your meeting.